Tuesday, October 16, 2007

The first brain tumor

I don't like to think I watch that much television.

Definitely more than none, definitely less than I would watch if we had cable, HD and Tivo.

But I've noticed a decrease in half-hour sitcoms. I mean, quality comedy. The stuff people like to watch, like a group of six friends in New York City who rarely seem to go to work, but who manage to make the rent week after week, and get themselves in and out of hilarious situations in under an hour, or a month, depending on the TV time.

Nowadays, thanks to the genius of cable, satellite, Tivo and HD, people can watch TV for hours. And it's likely that the longer your TV show is, the longer people will be watching your channel.

ABC, for example, has totally got you covered for the week. Monday, why don't you settle in with the fam, and up your culture with some Dancing with the Stars. Your beloved sports idols and 90210 residents cut a rug with professional dancers. Afterwards, the latest incarnation of a smart blonde playing dumb will regale you with filler before the latest Bachelor, sculpted and tanned with fresh money, and his harem suck away another hour of your life.

Tuesday, you can LOL with the Cavemen and the everymen from Carpool, while you wait for the results from the previous night's voting for/against your favorite dancers.

Wednesday, be sure to see what Seattle Grace's off-spring are doing in Hollywood.

Thursday, stick it to Anna Wintour's industry with an hour of Ugly Betty, followed by the relationship trauma/drama of Grey's Anatomy.

But in this line-up that could conceivably air 28 sitcoms, I know of 3.

Since the casts of Friends and Seinfeld have retired, NBC seems to be clinging to it's predatory predatory catching and ER. Why do they keep ER on life support? Are people still watching it?

Is it like Days of Our Lives? General Hospital?

No, it's an hour long trauma/drama and it sucks up an hour of your life, and that makes the advertising executives very happy.

Almost as happy as you'll be if you try the latest incarnation of Valium (new citrus flavor!) or the new depression band-aid, whose commercials, I see, help cover the cost of that pricey HD air-time.